A Lesson from Dancing with the Stars

I just posted this on my private blog and thought it fit well here!

We just finished watching "Dancing with the Stars" with the kids.



Something I don't normally do, but it just happened to be on. Well, I research the media, so I never pass up a chance to teach a lesson with what we are watching. We were watching one dancer who was dressed very immodestly, so we were talking about how our bodies are a temple and we should dress modestly and classy. We talked about how this girls was showing WAY too much leg, back, breasts, and everything else!

Hannah didn't really get it. She just lifted up her shirt and said, "Look! Boobies!"

Okay...

However, I really thought Nathan was internalizing this when the next girl came on, who happened to be wearing a rather modest outfit.

"Mom! She is beautiful! She is dressed very classy. Much better than that other girl"

YES! My son will NOT grow up to be one of the millions of men who drool over the scantily clad girls who seem to be everywhere we look! TV, magazines, billboards, on and on. Girl after girl came on the show and Nathan would always remakr whether she was dressed modestly or immodestly. And how the modest ones were always the more beautiful ones! Hooray!

Just as I was congratualating myself on a good piece of parenting, he came out with this little gem:

"Well...I like the ones who show too much of their boobies. It's very important to be nice to everyone no matter what they look like"

Hmmmmmmmm....true sentiment, but not quite what I had in mind!! At least he wants to be inclusive right?!? :)

It's a BOY!!!

We would like to introduce the newest addition to our family, Aidan Matthew Coyne!



Aidan was born on July 8th at 11:23 pm. I am really funny about even numbers, so I was thrilled that he was born on an even day (with 37 minutes to spare!)



He weighed 8 lb 5 oz (so not too huge like I was expecting!) and was 20 1/2 inches long. Lots and lots of dark brown hair.



Aidan is one week old today and we are LOVING having him home! He is the best baby so far. Good sleeper, good eater, doesn't cry too much! He loves to just look around and snuggle. I am really loving having a newborn again! There is nothing like having a newborn to snuggle up to!!!



We love you Aidan!!!

Toy Story 3

Today we saw Toy Story 3 for FHE. Loved it! Disney/Pixar makes the greatest films in my opinion!

It was kinda scary, though. About half way through I hear a little voice say, "Mom, I don't want to watch this movie anymore. Let's go home". Nope, it wasn't Hannah, it was my sensitive soul, little Nate. So, he ended up sitting on my lap for the last half of the movie (and to be honest, there isn't much "lap" to sit on anymore! There is a part where the toys are in grave peril and Nate just turned to me and sobbed! Poor little guy! Luckily the toys survived (hope I wasn't giving anything away right then! :)



It is definitely a tear jerker. I was totally crying throughout the show as Andy has grown up and gone to college. I couldn't help thinking that my little boy (who LOVES his toys and is so imaginative and sweet with them) is growing up every single day, and one day he won't be so little anymore!



Anyway, I'd definitely recommend this show, but be sure to bring some tissues! :)

Power of Advertising!

I just walked downstairs and Paul said, "I just fell victim to advertising! I've got to go get some KFC right now!"



"Really?" I asked. I can think of nothing nastier than KFC at almost 10:00 at nightime! Or to be fair, KFC at most anytime!

But, off he went! Luckily, he's going to grab me a shake from Artic Circle...hey, before you judge, remember I'm almost 9 months pregnant: I deserve a little sweetness every now and then! :)

Music to my ears!

Nathan was playing on starfall.com tonight, a GREAT website that focuses on early reading skills. There is a place that you can go on that will play excerpts of classical music. He played a bit of Beethoven's 9th Symphony, and then came running in to me.

"MOM! Did you hear that song?"

"Yeah" I said.

"Well...it reminds me of you", said Nathan.

"How come?" I asked.

"Because it is soft and beautiful, and you are soft and beautiful too".

This almost made me cry! I've been feeling a little less than beautiful in recent weeks so leave it up to a 5 year old to say exactly what I needed to hear. Thanks Nathan! I love you!

Picture of Nate at his preschool "graduation". What a sweetheart!

Cookie Dough Goodness!

Hannah and I were making cookies the other day. We were listening to Jon Schmidt's new album. One of the softer songs came on (I think it was Jessica's theme), and I looked at my little two year old covered with cookie dough and wished I could freeze this moment in time. My little girl is growing up way too fast!! I love her so much!!!

Some cute pictures...





I really appreciated this music as it made me stop, listen, and just stay in this perfect moment.

P.S. The cookies were awesome! :)

Minivan mania...

We are now proud owners of the one word that strikes fear into the heart of every dad who still thinks he can pull off "cool".....MINIVAN!!!

After 6 hours at the dealership today, and countless searches on the Internet, we now own a 2008 Chrysler Town & Country! We can't fit three carseats in the back of our car, so this was kind of a necessity. Paul fought it tooth and nail. He doesn't exactly fit the "Utah mold" so he thought this was the first step into darkness. Just bring on the jean shorts and white socks and he'll be a full on "Utah-tard" (his words, not mine)! But after weeks of me trying to convince him, he finally gave in!

Here is the beast itself!


The reason I can post this on my media blog, is because the Internet played a HUGE role in getting this car. I found the dealer through the Internet, searched for how much we can finance, and then directly transferred our down payment to the dealer from our online banking account. Thank you new media for making the process just a little easier!

The Reality of Reality TV

If you haven't seen this yet, the news picked up one of my studies recently.

The LA Times (and others) recently ran a story about some of my research. Essentially, it was a study about aggression on reality TV (there is tons!). The study was called "Does Reality Backbite?" and found that some reality TV shows have insane amounts of aggressive behavior when looking at non-physical forms. The Apprentice was BY FAR the worst!!! Below are some of the pictures from the press release.

I don't know who this is. They tried to set this picture up with me as the model and with Paul's hands trying to choke me, but I couldn't stop laughing, let alone look scared! So, we have random guy in the picture instead of me!



The one of me is not super good; the photographer wouldn't let me smile so I just look stoned or something!



Here is the link to the article: http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/booster_shots/2010/05/reality-tv-aggressive-acts-study.html

Who knows if Simon Cowell's insults are really harmful to us (realistically, I just think they are funny...which on reflection this is probably not a good thing!), but moral of the story is to be careful what you watch!

Lovin' McDreamy.....

Season finale of Grey's Anatomy tonight! Definitely a nail biter! I've been a bit disappointed with the program as the series has gone on this year, but this one made up for it! I won't ruin it for you if you haven't seen it yet, but definitely not one to miss!



(and there was not even ANY sex for my group who is coding sex in medical programs! Just in case you were interested! :)

Feeling gleeful...

My new favorite program is Glee.

If you are not familiar with the program, it is about a glee class in high school. They sing and dance a lot in the show! My husband got me into this (no, he isn't gay I promise!) I recently watched two episodes on Hulu. One was really good, the other not so much.

1. THE POWER OF MADONNA: This episode was all about Madonna, and really focused on several main characters' decisions about whether or not to lose their virginity. Some did, others didn't, but overall, I wasn't too impressed with how they dealt with the issue.

2. HOME: The main theme of this was feeling beautiful no matter what you look like. One character (who happens to be overweight) gets on the cheerleading team, where she promptly is told to lose 10 pounds. After severely dieting, she decides to rebel (and ends up singing that Christina Aguilera song, "Beautiful" to the whole school!) Yes, VERY cheesy (I think that's the point of the whole show!!), but a great message to adolescents.

PLUS, Kristin Chenowith guest starred in the episode. Love her!

Cinderella ate my daughter

This is from my personal blog, but thought it was super relevant so I'll post it here as well...

I'm in San Fransisco right now at a Gender Development conference. Just saw Wicked last night: LOVED IT!!

Had dinner with a woman the other night who talked about "benign bigotry", whatever that is. She was saying how feminists were so picked on and I asked, "So, are you a feminist?" "Oh yeah", she said. I had verbal diarrhea at that point and blurted out, "Wow! I've never met a real feminist before!" as if she were an alien or something. Oh good times.

SO, I just out of a WONDERFUL talk by Peggy Ornstein called "Cinderella ate my daughter: Reflections on the new "girly" girl childhood". She talked a lot about the Disney Princess line (who last year made like 5 BILLION dollars in merchandising), why all girl toys have to be "pink" and why this might be a problem.



This was the closing talk and I was so excited to go, as Hannah has now fully embraced the whole "Cinderella concept". She likes to dress up, her favorite color is pink, she can quote whole dialogues from Cinderella, and knows all the words to "Once upon a dream". I have four younger sisters who were all NOT girly. In fact, two of them (you know who you are!) would dress in boy clothing and could even pass for boys when their hair was short! I desperately wanted a younger sister who I could paint her nails, or do her hair, but no go! So, when I had a daughter of my own, I was really excited, and even more excited when Hannah seemed to naturally gravitate to the more girly stuff!



Okay, here's my take on this whole thing. Now, I've never been a huge fan of Disney Princesses. The focus is on BEAUTY. Why do girls like them? Because they are PRETTY. Sure, Cinderella works hard, but only cause the stepmother makes her. Sleeping Beauty does nothing but dream her life away and then falls asleep and Ariel is the ultimate "rebellious teenager" (instead of a belly button ring, she went out and got LEGS!) The psychologist mom that I am, whenever we talk about Disney Princesses, I always try to highlight the non-beauty aspects of them (as in "wow, Cinderella sure is a kind person"). My husband just laughs at me.

I've been so focused on keeping Nathan away from media violence (which has a HUGE effect on boys!) that this Disney princess thing with Hannah has sort of snuck up on me. What kind of message am I sending? That THIN, beautiful models (which sums up pretty much all princesses) are all that are out there? And these models are to be frank, slightly insipid, (Sleeping Beauty) sometimes whiny, (Ariel) and often entitled (Jasmine)? And I sort of encouraged this??? I've just realized that my email address has the word princess in it, and my name actually means "princess"!!!! How do I raise a girl who is self assured, confident, feels good about her self and her body, and who isn't afraid to be SMART in this day and age, when even I (psychologist media girl) have sort of bought into the hype?!? Have I ruined my daughter forever?!?!?

Luckily, Hannah is 2 and still has a lot of growing up to do. I do think a little make believe is great: but you still need to focus on the non-beauty aspects of these princesses. So, here are a few Disney princesses that I think we are going to start focusing on: those that have truly great qualities besides the fact that they have a pretty face.

Belle


I think this is my all time Disney Princess. First of all, she is SMART! She loves to read and isn't ashamed of it, even though it makes her a little odd. Secondly, she DOESN'T buy into the whole appearance thing. The message of the story is that appearances don't matter! After all, she falls in love with the beast, and even stays with him when he turns into that seriously ugly prince at the end! (sorry, don't know what Disney was thinking with that prince!!)

Jane



Okay, not officially a Disney princess, but I think she's great! She's not the most beautiful of girls (gotta love the pointy nose!), but she's a SCIENTIST!!! How many good female scientists do we have in children's movies? I think Tarzan is too scary for Hannah right now (at least the last part), but I'm hoping to really get her into this in the future.

Mulan

Now here is a Disney princess who is brave, self sacrificing, intelligent, honorable, and loyal. She is awkward and doesn't quite fit it, yet she saves her whole country. LOVE IT! Again, the movie is a little too scary/violent for Hannah at age 2, but I'm buying the book!

Tiana


Disney's newest princess, isn't actually a princess until the end of the movie. Here's my favorite attribute of Tiana: She WORKS HARD! And she's a frog for the whole movie, so the whole beauty thing is kind of moot throughout! The really "girl girl" Charlotte (who I think is HILARIOUS!) is made to be kind of ridiculous, so again the whole concept of focusing on beauty is actually mocked in this show! Besides the scary voodoo dolls (yikes!) this is a great show for little girls to watch!

SO, there's my take on Disney princesses. In theory, I don't mind the line too much as they are certainly better than the alternative: Barbie and Bratz dolls were are hugely sexualized and REALLY not the role model I want for Hannah!


I think you need to have moderation in all things. The speaker had completely banned all princess stuff from her house, but I don't think this is necessary. I think as a parent, I need to MODERATE what does come into the house (focus on some, but not others), and try to highlight the GOOD aspects of these role models. So, we aren't completely going to ban Cinderella from the house: seriously, a little pink and dress up (in moderation) probably never hurt anyone! But at the same time we are also going to focus on all the "princesses" listed above that will provide a more balanced view of womanhood! Hopefully, this will help us all have a happily ever after!

An Irish family photograph...

Here is our most recent family photograph taken on St. Patrick's day!



Can you tell we get into the holiday a bit?!? With Paul ACTUALLY being from Ireland, and the kids being Irish citizens we tend to go a bit overboard!

And here's a couple of my Hannah banana. Seriously, have you seen a cuter looking Irish baby?!?




We have a BOOK (here is how I'm bringing media into this post) about a leprechaun and gold that I was reading to Nathan the day before St. Paddy's. Well, somehow he got it into his head that the leprechaun would come pinch him in the nighttime if he wasn't wearing green (even though this was NOT what the book was about!) Luckily he had some Thomas the Tank Engine PJS with green on them so HE WAS SAFE! Phew!

Happy late St. Patrick's Day!

My shout out from Elder Ballard!

Anyone else listening to Saturday morning conference?

Elder Ballard (who I LOVE cause he often talks about the media!) was giving a talk about mothers/daughters. In the talk he said we as women need to gossip less and be nicer. And then he said we need to be careful of all the gossip and similar behavior in recent movies and literature.

SOUND FAMILIAR???

Yes, I was freaking out: to have my research agenda over the last 10 years be validated over the pulpit is a nice feeling! Thanks Elder Ballard!!!

This is my new favorite show....

Anyone else seen 30 Rock? This is seriously the funniest show I've seen on TV for a long time. Tina Fey is pretty much my idol.

I've been watching the past few seasons on Netflix (LOVE this company by the way!) Delta also showed an episode on the airplane back from Philly. I am not ever like this, but I was seriously laughing out loud the whole time. Yep, I was THAT person that everyone hates on flights. Something about Lasik surgery gone wrong and Tina Fey secreting tears from her mouth instead of her eyes. To be fair, the hilarity may have had something to do with my being very loopy from having to wake up at 2:00 am Utah time to actually catch my flight, but I'm not sure....

There is some off color humor, so it's probably not for everyone, but if you are looking for something fresh and HILARIOUS, check it out!

Classic Video Game Night!!

I was getting ready to go to Relief Society last week, when my sister Janelle randomly stopped by.

"Janelle, I am going to Relief Society!"

"Whatever, sisters are forever: Relief Society is not. You have to stay"

So, after listening to my devil sister, I skipped RS, and we ended up playing video games ALL NIGHT!

Janelle had found our very old Super Nintendo and had somehow got it to work. She brought two of my favorite games when I was a kid: Donkey Kong Country, and Yoshi's Island!!!



I am not good at video games, and have never really been into them, but I LOVED playing these! We seriously played for hours. And I'm not gonna lie: I rocked that Diddy Kong! Total walk down memory lane. Hooray for Super Nintendo (and sisters who drove all the way from SLC just to play video games with me!!!)

Me and Janelle at our soccer game last summer! Thanks for the fun night Nelly!!!

Boy? Girl? How about a mix???

Me (talking to both kids in the bath): What do guys want the new baby to be? A brother or a sister?

Hannah (very loudly): SISTER!!!!

Nathan: A brother....no..a sister....well....how about a brother with a sister head?

Okay, not sure what that means, but it definitely DOESN'T get my vote!

So, ultrasound is probably not a true from of media here, but my ability to share the pictures is. So I'm saying it counts! :)

A few pics from our recent ultrasound...


Foot!!


3-D picture! Technology has changed so much in recent years, so this was really cool to see baby in 3-D! Looking slightly alien-ish at this point, but we won't hold that against him/her! :)


Even though I was sorely tempted, we didn't find out the sex of the baby (though I may bribe the ultrasound tech later!) Any guesses? Right now baby looks a little like a lizard (though a cute one?) so it's hard to tell....

Jon Schmidt + me = best friends! :)

I have been SUPER busy the last few weeks, firstly planning and carrying out a media and family conference at BYU and secondly presenting some research at an adolescence conference in Philadelphia (actually where I am right now).

For the media and family conference, BYU pretty much gave me a large sum of money and said "put on a media and family conference". Okay! Well, this turned out to be a GIANT job that took up a huge amount of time. I did get to bring in some of the top media/family researchers in the country which was really exciting. I also got to choose the entertainment for one night. So, I emailed Jon Schmidt, one of my favorite entertainers, and literally asked him, "will you come play at my conference?" Two hours later he personally had replied and said "yes!" (for a large fee, though, I might add!)

This was an AMAZING experience. For those of you who have not heard Jon Schmidt, you should check him out (http://www.jonschmidt.com). He is such an amazing pianist and entertainer. Tears ran down my cheeks as he played his beautiful music, and my heart was lifted as I watched his fingers move across the piano. I have loved his music for a very long time and it was wonderful to interact with him on a such a personal level (in a group of only like 25 people!) After the concert, I even got a picture with him (yes, I know, I am a total groupie!)



So, I come home tomorrow from a CRAZY few weeks of work and hopefully will get back on track with everything. Paul just called with an update from home: Hannah had managed to stick an M & M and an entire length of string up her nose. Oh fun! I'm excited to get home though!!!

Get some clothes on!

Me and the kids are just watching figure skating together.

We were watching a girl from Canada skate and Nate said, "Mom, she's not wearing very many clothes. She should really get some on"! Maybe not the response he'll have when he's a teenager, but I'll take it for now!

So, I've missed most of the Olympics, but I LOVE the women's figure skating (I know, I am a super girl. No denying it). Whe I was a teenager, my dream was to be Michelle Kwan and to win the Olympics.



I was convinced if I worked hard enough it would happen! Too bad I can't skate AT ALL, but every time I watch figure skating, I always think, "yeah...I could do that! Just a little practice....!"

And the dream lives on!

If Facebook were real....

For those of you who asked....

The Man Show!

One of Nathan and Paul's (my husband) favorite activity to do together is to watch Man vs. Wild. For those of you who don't know what this is, it's kind of like a survival show where this guy, Bear Grylls "survives" in various wilderness destinations. He does cool stuff like making shelters out of tree sap or braiding a rope out of cricket legs.



Anyway, Nate and Paul call this "The Man Show", and it's a BIG DEAL in our house. When it's on, they cuddle on the couch (very manly) and burp and fart and do other man stuff. Okay, not really. But I LOVE that they are connecting so well over this particular show. It's kind of their "thing" and it's really cute in a way! I don't remember watching any type of media with my dad (who was going through his medical residency when I was a kid!). Well, that's not true. We did watch Moulin Rouge together when it came out in the theatre (I literally almost died of embarrassment!) So, I think it's WONDERFUL that Paul and Nate have this Man show together.

Okay, I know this is a really old picture (Nathan is 2 years old in this one)!, but it's so darn cute. They are watching TV together and even wearing matching Ireland football shirts!


Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!


So, when I came downstairs tonight Nathan had built this very elaborate structure out of couch cushions, pillows, blankets, legos, and Hannah's rocking horse.

"Nathan, what IS that?" I asked

"It's my trap!", he said. "I'm making a trap for bugs. And for whales, squid, and bees" (Pretty impressive in my opinion)

Then he proceeded to pull out this giant plastic bug toy we happen to have.

"AWESOME!", he exclaimed "I caught one! I'll just eat the legs, wings, and antennae now. I'll save the body for later."

Okay, ew, ew, ew!!! I totally don't get boys, but I love that this show also sparked his imagination of surviving in the wilderness. So, thanks Bear Grylls!

Now I have to think of what "Girl show" me and Hannah can watch together. America's Next Top Model? hmmm, probably not!!!

Confessions of an abusive mother

I was talking to Nathan (age 5) last night.

(How cute is this kid??)


One of his friends had gone to another friend's house without asking. Nate said, "Mom, remember when I did that?"

Me: "Yeah, you got in big trouble! You should never leave the house without asking me first"

Nate: "Oh yeah. That was the time you smacked me in the face, right?"

WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?

I have NEVER hit my children, in fact, it's something I feel really strongly about, so I was completely flabbergasted.

Me: "What are you talking about?!? I've never hit you!"

Nate put his hand up to chin, making a thinking face, and then said, "Oh, that's right. It wasn't you. I saw it on "Cloudy with a chance of meatballs"! Sorry!"



Thank you frickin' meatball show!! I wonder what other "memories" my kids have after watching movies!!!

A song that helped me get my PhD!

I forgot to share this in class today.

I started out today's lecture by playing one of my favorite songs: "The Voice Within" by Christina Aguilera. I really find this song inspiring and uplifting and it always cheers me up.



When I was doing my PhD I literally used this song to help get through it all. In England, the last step to get a PhD is to have a 2-3 hour Viva. This entails pretty much writing a book length document, then having 3 experts in the field read it, and then quiz you on it for hours on end. One of my examiners happened to be a man called Kaj Bjorkvist, who pretty much was the first person to ever study relational aggression!!! Crazy! So, you can see how I would be more than a little nervous!

Picture of Kaj!!!


Well, I was sat in my office right before the viva started and I was FREAKING OUT! So, I turned this song on and listened to it probably 5 times in a row. It really calmed me down, and made me feel like I could anything. Totally cheesy, I know, but it really helped me cope in this extremely tense situation! Thank you music! (and Christina!)

Music video!

Mommy media madness!

I'm noticing how much more the media is influencing my emotions now that I am a parent: ESPECIALLY about parent/kid stuff. Last night I was watching Lost (an earlier season) and there is a really touching moment between Kate and a little boy. It was SO SAD, and I ran right in and snuggled Nathan cause I was feeling vulnerable I guess!



I was also at the library picking out books yesterday. Recently I like the author, Jodi Picoult (author of Nineteen minutes (see earlier post on this book) and My Sister's Keeper). I was skimming through the book jackets, and read something like, "newlyweds finally get pregnant, but baby is born with multiple problems"...okay..put that one back, feeling way too vulnerable for this book. Next one I picked up was "Parents deal with issues after their 5 year old son is sexually abused"...I almost threw this back on the shelf! I finally settled on a book about euthanisia: still a controversial topic but nothing to do with parent/child issues so felt I could tackle it.

And I think pregnancy makes me especially vulnerable. Case in point: Clover butter commercial I showed in class today. I also remember when I was pregnant with Nathan I was watching an episode of ER. In this episode, Dr. Carter (love him!) and his wife Kim are pregnant with their first child. Right before the due date, the baby dies while still in uetro. SO SAD! I honestly cried and cried after watching this, and even now it makes me horribly sad to think of it!!



So watch out: becoming a parent makes you more vulnerable to ALL sort of media messages that wouldn't really have affected you before!! (and cost me A LOT of money on expensive butter! :)

Greetings from CA!

Hey guys! A big hello from Sunny San Diego!



I'll blog about this trip properly later, as media has played a role every single day. But I just realized I don't know what I'd do without my laptop (and wireless internet access)! Just today we checked weather.com to find out what we could do today (THE BEACH! :), printed off coupons to our destination tomorrow, got directions to Legoland, ordered pizza for dinner tonight and checked emails (I had 62 from work just TODAY!! ACK!)

I love having access to the Internet while on vacation as it does make things a lot more convenient. Over the last year I've often thought how nice it would be to have an Iphone or a blackberry so I can have constant Internet access. But I'm not sure if I want to be THAT connected. I would probably check my email all the time, and I'm not sure if I really want that temptation! After all, I'm blogging while on vacation, when I really should just be chilling out! Oh well.....

I miss you all and I'll see you next week!!!

I love to see the temple...

So, on the way home me and my 2 year old daughter, Hannah, were singing the song, "I love to see the temple". I would sing the first part of the phrase and then she would finish.

Me: "I love to see the..."
Hannah: TEMPLE!!!
Me: "I'm going there..."
Hannah: Someday.

Well, the very of the song ended going like this...
Me: "I'll prepare myself while I am young..This is my..."
Hannah: Sleeping Beauty!!!

Well...almost! :)